Take this test to find out if you're helping people who need or needing people to help. Answer yes or no to each question.

1.  Do you feel demeaned, hurt or offended when someone you love tells you they don't need your help?

2.  In the last year, has anyone resorted to arguing, begging or raising their voice to get you to stop trying to help them?

3.  If you had plenty of money and your child, sibling or parent had an addiction to drinking, spending, gambling or drugs, and they asked you for money to help with their necessary expenses (food, rent, clothes, bills), would you give them the money?

4.  When someone shares a life or relationship problem with you, but doesn't ask for help, do you offer help or advice, anyway?

5.  When you survey your relationships, do you find yourself surrounded by mostly people who need you?

6.  Do you ever find yourself making excuses for the needy people in your life?

7.  If someone you love has a substance abuse, emotional, spending or gambling problem, do you avoid confronting them?

8.  Do you measure your self-esteem by how much someone depends on you?

9.  Do you ever remind people where they would be without you?

A. If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, read the codependency article on this site and monitor yourself for the next 3 months to verify your answers.

B.  If you answered 'yes' to 3 or more of the above, you may have a codependency problem.  Read our codependency article on this site, get a trusted friend who is independent of you to keep you accountable, and read a book on the subject of codependence. Pia Mellody's book Facing Codependence is good as is Melody Beattie's Codependent No More.

C.  If you answered 'yes' to 5 or more of the above, do 'A' & 'B' above, contact the Kusnacht Practice  and attend an Alanon, Narconon or Codependents Anonymous meeting.